


You're Such a Fucking Dick, L!

by Iflyinmydreams (orphan_account)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Haunting, L (Death Note) is a Dick, M/M, Pantsing, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Yagami Light is a Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Iflyinmydreams
Summary: Light is *trying* to take over the world but he's constantly having to deal with L's ghost and all the ways he drives Light crazy.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	You're Such a Fucking Dick, L!

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously L is dead and this takes place when Kira is gaining power. It's just for fun. Short and sweet and hopefully fucking hilarious. Let me know if you laughed!

Light adjusted the blue tooth  ear piece and double checked himself in the mirror. It would be obvious to anyone who saw him, so it should work perfectly. “Try embarrassing me now, asshole,” Light muttered to his reflection.  There was no response, but that didn't mean L wasn’t listening. Light tugged his collared shirt smooth and walked out his front door. 

Just a little over three days ago, L had annoyed Light into somehow screaming , “ Shut the fuck up!” Amidst a very crowded mall food court. The silence and stares  drove him to run in humiliation as fast as he could out the nearest exit. Had Light known that dead L was going to be an even bigger thorn in his side than living L, he would've never  killed the bastard. 

Light had a very big speech to give today in front of a lot of people. The press would be there, cameras would be rolling; it was a really big deal. Normally this kind of attention fed his ego more than made him anxious, but with L haunting him and causing him all kinds of trouble, Light was a bundle of nerves about it.

He closed his eyes and breathed out as he sat in the back of his black SUV.  “You’re awfully quiet today,” he said.

“Nobody is going to believe you're talking into that ear piece, you know.”

“I thought it was rather clever, myself,” when Light caught his driver's concerned gaze in the rear view, he pointed to the ear piece and his driver seemed relieved and went back to having his eyes on the road. Smug,  Light said, “It's already proving effective.”

“I don't need to cause you to talk to yourself in public to prove you're fucking insane,” L spat as he materialized in the seat next to Light.

It still gave Light chills to see him.  Trying not to stare at the apparition, Light looked out his window and tried to act casual. “I'm saving the world. You'll see.”

“Yeah, okay  _ Yagami _ _.”  _ L sounded amused in a condescending way.

Light couldn't help but cast a glance over at L. He was almost transparent, but not quite. More pale than when he was alive if that was even possible. Same bags under his eyes. Same tired, lifeless look. “Don’t you get tired of opposing me?”

“Oh no. On the contrary,  this is the most fun I think I've ever had.”

Light had figured out at this point that it wasn't about stopping Kira anymore. L was dead, why should he care? No, it was about aggravating the absolute shit out of Light simply because he found it _ amusing.  _ Nothing would stop him. Even if he surrendered as Kira, L wouldn't quit.  He planned to drive Light utterly mad until the day he died and if L had it his way, after Light died as well. 

The SUV pulled up to a large building in the city and Light stepped out with a smile on his face as he waved at the people gathered around. Police had created a barrier so Light could take the marble steps into the courthouse.  People chanted Kira's name and held up banners and homemade signs praising him and asking to have his children.  _ Talk about insanity,  _ Light thought. The general public was crazier than he could ever be.

Today was a big day. After winning against the Supreme Court  and pr ovi ng he was a force for justice instead of corruption, Light was now to be sworn into office as the first true  _ world  _ leader. Representatives from every country were there,  and the votes were unanimous; Kira was the leader they all desperately needed.

Placing his hand on a Bible, Light recited an oath to serve the people of the world faithfully. After that, he was to give a speech.  Light was handed a microphone and stood before a podium and began speaking about a world that was truly peaceful, where instead of spending billions on military, that money could go to curing cancer and feeding the hungry.  At the end of his speech he was given a standing ovation. When he stepped aside to bow, his pants and underwear  fell down to his ankles faster than what seemed possible. Embarrassed and disturbed, Light tried to quickly pull them up, but tri pp ed over his clothing and tumbled to the floor.  Camera’s flashed as the whole room gasped and everyone had gotten an eye full of the mighty Kira’s  manhood  _ and  _ ass. 

Racing out of there as fast as he could, Light was given a police escort back to his  SUV . Within _ seconds  _ his accident had gone viral and the entire world knew just how long and  girthy their new world leader was. “L, you are  _ such  _ a dick,” Light mumbled as he pinched his nose and closed his eyes.  Then, Light began to laugh. Quietly at first, then louder and louder.

L simply stared at him from his seat in the vehicle. “You really  _ are _ insane.”


End file.
